Jasmine finished school yesterday and came home upset, it took me a while to get her to open up and talk about what was wrong.
Earlier in the school day a child had invited the class to a birthday party, a group of children were talking about it and Jasmine over heard a boy ask "what about Jasmine"? upon hearing her name Jasmine went over to see what they were talking about and found out they were all excited about going to the child's party to which she wasn't invited. Jasmine asked what they were talking about and the child said it was her party but she didn't invite Jasmine because she didn't think she would want to go.
Now I can totally understand why Jasmine was feeling sad, she told me she is hardly ever included in playdates, parties or planned outings amongst her friends and only last week one of the girls even went as far as saying she is so annoying because she has allergies and hates when she sits near her at lunch.
Our human nature is to celebrate pretty much everything around food, parties, outings, playdates all will involve food at some point, so when you aren't invited or thought of as annoying or hard work imagine the feelings that come with that.
Jasmine told me she feels lonely, sad and hates having allergies and wishes she could be 'normal'.
Social Isolation is real when you are living with food allergies, so many things you miss out on, so many eyes rolling when you can't eat somewhere, the tuts, the whispers the funny looks all make everything feel much worse. Food allergies aren't fun let me tell you what we would give to be able to do what every one else does. For Jasmine to run out to the Ice Cream van, have Pizza Friday at school with her friends, be invited to the parties with no fuss of bringing her own food and her missing out on the birthday cake, would be a dream come true, but, this is not our reality, we rely on our friends to help keep her safe and help her feel included, we love when people are just kind and just try to be accepting and non-judgemental. We also don't mind bringing own food to parties or me staying with her medical bag, we have done this so many times and I get more than anyone these multiple allergies and risk of anaphylaxis are very daunting and scary but this is life for us and we are doing our best to navigate through what sometimes seems like an impossible journey, we really don't need any other people to make Jasmine feel worse, in her previous school she was called a 'freak' and a 'weirdo' for having allergies and had to sit in a room off the side of the dining hall with one friend (who we will be forever grateful for) that is social isolation, being excluded because of her allergies is social isolation, not being invited to parties just because of her allergies is social isolation. This makes it harder to make new friends and get closer to existing friends and makes her feel like an outsider. To any parents reading this just please for a minute stop and think how your child would feel if they weren't invited because of a medical need, how would they feel, how would you feel?
Thank you to all the people who have included Jasmine and for helping her to feel special, we are lucky to have you in our lives x